If I could go back in time and ask for one gift, it would be to learn how to be my own best friend from a young age.

Among all the qualities that help me navigate hardships and achieve success, being self-supportive is undeniably the most important.

Unfortunately, I faced so much criticism and disregard in my childhood that my inner voice became a harsh judge, always ready to condemn me for:

• Not being good enough.
• Not being strong enough.
• Not being convenient enough for those around me.

As a result, I grew up with a fearful personality, completely disconnected from my inner world and unable to find fulfillment in life due to the immense mental resistance I struggled with:

“It will never work out!”

“You are not good enough to do this.”

“Give up! You know it is not for you.”

“Why are you so stupid/ incompetent/weak?”

“Why are you always messing things up!”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

These thoughts showed me I was my own worst enemy, and achieving anything in my life required a huge amount of time and energy.

When I realized this, I decided to make a change as soon as possible.

It took me literally years to accomplish this, along with a lot of help from qualified professionals on the matter.

* I took a course from a psychiatrist specializing in the wounded inner child.

* I spent 2 years in psychoanalysis being heard and learning how to be intimate and respectful of my own feelings and needs.

* I consumed hundreds of psychoeducation videos.

* I engaged in extensive self-reflection to catch and reject the nasty thoughts in my mind.

Despite the struggles I faced in overcoming my own mindset, every tear shed and moment of distress was worth it when I considered the rewards I eventually gained.

By the end of this journey, I learned how to:

• Be there for me no matter what.

• Accept my weak points, mistakes, and vulnerabilities without judging, shaming, or abandoning myself.

• Be the first to compliment my good behavior and celebrate my achievements.

• Protect myself from toxic and disrespectful people.

• Spend time connecting to my feelings and thoughts.

• Always follow my intuition.

If you also have an inner judge constantly making you feel discouraged and inadequate, please consider working to replace that critical voice with one that respects and supports you in being your true self.

In my opinion, the most effective way to achieve this is through therapy, for two reasons:

1. The emotionally safe environment ensures non-judgmental listening to your feelings and thoughts.

2. The validated techniques used can reshape your mindset and improve your relationship with yourself.

*If you can’t afford therapy right now, explore alternative resources and check my recommendations in the end of this post.

Regardless of how negative your thoughts and feelings may be, there is always a solution, as long as you are willing to put in the work, accept help, and let go of your old self.

I have been there, and I can assure you that it definitely pays off! So, good luck on your journey!

Here are my tips.

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