How much easier life would be if it came with a manual!  

Think of all the mistakes, heartbreaks, and disappointments we could avoid!

However, since this is not an option, let’s explore a less comfortable yet essential way to make the best choices for a fulfilling life:

Learning from our mistakes and accepting reality.

Over the decades, I’ve come to terms with some tough truths about relationships, and I’m sure many of you can relate. So, I want to share my top 10 lessons learned along the way.

Here we go:

1. **Relationships Reflect My Inner World**

The quality of my relationships mirrors how I treat myself. If I’m struggling internally, no romantic relationship can fix that. I might even attract partners who resonate with my struggles.

2. **Know Myself First**

Before choosing a partner, it’s essential to understand myself on a deeper level. Relying solely on physical attraction and fleeting moments is a risky gamble that typically doesn’t end well. 3.

3. **Align Values and Beliefs**

While physical attraction is significant, sharing compatible values, lifestyles, and life goals is just as crucial. Once the initial excitement fades, what matters are the underlying beliefs and tendencies. If they clash, lasting harmony is unlikely.

4. **My Happiness is My Responsibility**

No one can make me happy except for myself. The best a partner can do is to complement my happiness and enhance my life. Discovering what truly makes me thrive is my responsibility.

5. **Communication is Key**

There are no mind readers in relationships. I must express my feelings and needs clearly. If I expect to be treated a certain way, it’s up to me to articulate that and ensure open communication.

6. **Avoid Self-Abandonment**

Self-neglect in relationships breeds resentment that can destroy them. Disregarding my boundaries, failing to say no when necessary, and settling for less than I deserve leads to unhappiness and painful endings.

7. **Types of Partners**

There are three types of guys: the abusers, the players, and the keepers. It’s my responsibility to recognize which category each person falls into and respond accordingly.

8. **No Saving Others**

I shouldn’t feel the need to save, develop, or heal anyone. Each person must take ownership of their growth. If I want a partner, I should choose someone who’s roughly at the same level of maturity.

9. **Believe Actions Over Words**

When a man reveals his intentions, I need to take them seriously. Engaging with someone who clearly doesn’t want a committed relationship is a form of self-betrayal. I can only hold myself accountable for my choices.

10. **Foundation of True Partnerships**

The best relationships thrive on friendship, open communication, and mutual freedom. These elements create a foundation for genuine connection, trust, and love.

I wish I had known these lessons before my first crush. Yet, the challenging path that brought me here was incredibly valuable. It forged me into a stronger person.

Every tear and disappointment has contributed to my character and self-love. If the journey had been easier, I wouldn’t have become the woman I am today.

I truly hope these reflections resonate with you and offer some guidance on your own journey.

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