Hey, beautiful souls!

It’s time for another Q&A session!

Today, I’m excited to answer the third and final question from our reader, Simon.

Let’s dive in!

📓 HOW TO CONNECT WHILE SETTING BOUNDARIES?

Everyone wants to love and be loved, but at the same time, we fear losing ourselves in the process. And yes, the risk is great.

Who hasn’t been in a relationship that cost them their freedom, dignity, or authenticity?

Welcome to the club. It can take us a lifetime and a lot of heartbreaks before we finally learn how to handle this fine line between our urge to be ourselves and our social needs.

💡 Here is a mindful way to navigate this.

🧘‍♀️ IT ALL STARTS WITHIN

It’s impossible to set boundaries for others without first:

• Discovering what those boundaries are

• Paying the price of setting them despite the risk of loosing something or someone valueable or convinient.

Step 1 – First me, then us. And not the other way around. **Self-awareness**

In reality, nothing comes before your relationship with yourself. Nothing.

Even your connection with the divine (if you believe in it) depends directly on your capacity to be grounded in your self-awareness.

Being well-connected with yourself is what allows you to identify your:

• Values
• Desires
• Needs

And they are the foundation of your boundaries and healthy relationships.

🎁 You can strengthen this connection through journaling, therapy, coaching, and meditation.

Step 2 – In my inner circle, only like-minded people. **Mindful Choices**

Be selective about the company you keep; this way, you won’t constantly need to set boundaries.

In other words, find your own tribe instead of forcing yourself to get along with everyone.

Keep less compatible individuals in your outer circle, maintaining them only as colleagues or acquaintances.

⚠️ Sometimes, we believe we have a boundary problem when, in reality, we may just be trying too hard to get along with the wrong people.

Step 3 – I pay the price of Saying No. **Assertiveness**

It’s not always possible to say no without risking your image as a nice person. This can lead to serious consequences such as conflicts, retaliation, or even the end of a relationship.

But when you assess and accept these risks beforehand, it becomes easier and safer to set your boundaries and deal with the outcomes.

It’s also important not to idealize the process. Difficult conversations, disappointments, and potential breakups may be inevitable.

Here’s a simple approach to evaluate the situation and take mindful actions: Ask yourself the right questions—What, Why, and How.

🛠️ Example

👉 What do I need to say no to?

My girlfriend’s criticism.

👉 Why?

Because it makes me feel belittled and disrespected.

👉 What do I think it will cost me to set this boundary around her?

Possible loss of connection, intimacy, harmony, emotional safety, or even the relationship itself.

🧠 Be brutally honest. Fully acknowledge your needs and desires at least to yourself.

👉 How can I handle both setting the boundary and the possible outcomes?

Ultimately, setting boundaries can either strengthen, shake, or break a relationship.

So, carefully weigh these three possibilities down before taking action.

🌻 Kind Reminder

If someone leaves your life after you set boundaries around them, chances are you were not meant to be in each others’ life in the first place.

So, you can use boundary-setting as a way to determine who is truly a good match for you.

Thank you for the awesome question, Simon! Your contributions to this blog are greatly appreciated. 🤗

💞 Let’s Connect!

🔁 If you want to send me a question too, just clicke here. You can stay anonymous if you prefer; just let me know.

💕 I’d love to get to know you!

🎯  Check the related posts:

Healing Journal #2 – Breaking Patterns of Self-Abandonment (Inner Compass #7)

5 Red Flags in Dating

The Best YouTube Channel for Understanding Love and Attachment Styles